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Overcome Awkwardness in Roleplaying

August 02, 2022 4 min read

Is roleplay good for sex life?

Before tackling the main issue we will be talking about, we have to know whether what the hell we are doing is even good for our sex life. The answer is, technically yes.

Makes you more involved

When partners start to use their imagination to envision a fantasy situation, they are more involved and engaged in the sex session.

Increased time in foreplay

It is a good foreplay because instead of just taking your clothes off, you need to spend some time flirting, playing, manipulating, inventing dialogues and passes. You spend a lot of time creating sexual tension to succeed. This makes the arousal go up.


It is great that sex is not the same as your everyday sex. It is fresh, new and unusual. It is a adventure.

Unexpected outcomes

A roleplay session can give you a lot of things to take away. It can be scripted and rehearsed, but it can still go astray and land you in an unexpected place.

How do you roleplay without being awkward?

We've all been in the awkward position of trying to roleplay with a partner without them knowing what we're doing. We want to do cool poses, but they want to go back to their seat and read the menu. But there are ways around this awkwardness – at least if you know how to defeat awkwardness in roleplaying with a partner. Read on for the tips to do so.

Try clothes

Clothes help you get into character, so dressing up can help you get into the scenario and feel less self conscious, especially if you don't have much role play experience, says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist. Step into the role and bring it to life!If you're feeling nervous or embarrassed, feel free to acknowledge the discomfort and say you're feeling a little awkward or a little nervous but it's important to try to move past it and jump right into the task at hand, much like you would if you were nervous about giving a speech or presentation in front of an audience.

Setting the scene

It's a good idea to set up your scene in advance. You can create boundaries and avoid things going in a different direction if you do it this way.


Get aroused before you slip into character. As arousal increases, your inhibitions will be heightened. Your brain circuitry will then be overloaded with activity.

Orgasm first

During orgasm, your brain becomes completely incapable of making sound decisions. It will be the equivalent of being drunk or stoned.

Turn off the lights

Do it with the lights off, or play the music at a fairly high volume. To be able to focus on what you're feeling in your body as opposed to your mind, you need to learn how to tune out the outside world for a few hours.

Get out of the house

Role playing in familiar surroundings feels very fake. It’s always a good idea to take a break from the usual places and see where your fantasy takes you.


Dirty talking is a big part of role play. Ease yourself into the role by whispering the character's lines. The hushed tones, the background music and the lack of lighting make it feel like an intimate conversation

This week, I'm talking about role play and how to make it less awkward. This topic has come up quite a bit in my workshops and I know that it can be super awkward. I've seen people make it worse by trying to "make it work" with their partner. What's wrong with that?

You don't have to start out as a role play neophyte to enjoy role play. It doesn't matter if you are new to role playing or just starting out. Everyone can enjoy role play.


Be sure to bring toys into the equation too! Check out our article here on how to keep them in good condition.

How do you roleplay when you're shy?

There are a lot of people who want to play a role but don't know what to do. There are so many unanswered questions. Like, how would you even bring up fantasy to them in the first place? What are the things should I buy? If my partner judges me for wanting to be the cheese to his mouse or the princess trapped in a tower?

Chill out, everyone who is into role-playing started in the beginning somehow. Tell your partner what you want, and that means what you really really want. Decide what you want to do, figure out who's in charge and who has to follow instructions. You could stop there or take it a step further. Acting as strangers is an easy place to start as you can just be yourselves. Determine your next steps when you and your partner decide on a scene. Do you have costumes or props? Where do you want it to go?

There are many ways to have fun with your sex. We all have our own ideas of what sex should look like, and I want to encourage you to embrace trying new things. When we are in touch with our sex, we feel more alive, we feel more connected to our partners.

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