What does it mean by your kinks?

Kink can be any number of things, but I am going to use it as an umbrella term for anything that falls under the category of unconventional sexual activity. So, kinks include bondage, BDSM, domination, exhibitionism, and any other activities that fall outside of traditional sex.

The definition of non-traditional means different things to different people, but in most contexts, non-traditional means anything that falls outside of romantic, intercourse-based sex between two people. There are things that range from bondage like BDSM collars, handcuffs, ropes or restraints, to practices like public humiliation, domination/submission, and group sex.

What causes a kink?

We often experience kinks without even realizing it. It's pretty easy to get into BDSM without even knowing it. It may be with toys, or etcetera. You may be curious about the lifestyle or just want to try something new, but you don't want to get into it blind.

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We develop kinks during many stages of life

The roots of a person's sexual kink are subjective. We try to put people into boxes, and frankly, your sexual kink is subjective. We’re all complex. That’s why we need to learn how to understand each other. For example, when someone starts a passion for leather, maybe it was because their first partner was a macho dude and wore lots of leather jackets.

It's not necessarily a matter of age, of gender, or your experiences in life. It can happen without any particular circumstances, so it isn't always linked to some event in your past. There are many different kinds of knots to discover, each one attached to a certain action and affecting your body in some way.

However, a study claims that people who were spanked as children have a predilection towards spanking during sex. Also, as pornography watching increases and more sexual acts are available to people, there are a lot of kinks discovered through puberty.

It's already there in our imagination

It's very common for people to think about something taboo. Most people will have some crazy sexual thoughts in their lifetime. Humans are very active in their imaginations. Thinking about it is one thing, but acting on it is another. The fact that fewer people act on their kinks seems pretty obvious.

Research suggests that most people have had a sexual fantasy about something kinky before, so most of us do seem to be a little weird. The number of people who actually want to act on their fantasies is smaller than the number of people who have engaged in them. Fantasy, desire, and behavior are all different, so it depends on which one you're talking about.

Should I be kinky?

The short answer is yes. It's important to experiment sexually so you can discover what you like and what you don't like. Kinkiness, drastically improves our sex lives. If you are worried about feeling or looking stupid for the first time, this article tackles a similar topic.

Developing a good relationship with your kink/s

If you're into kink and want to enjoy it during your sex life, there are tons of options available. It’s difficult to develop healthy, comfortable relationships with sexual behaviors that aren’t conventionally accepted in society. Kinky fun is an important part of your sexual experience, and as long as you decide what you want to try out, you'll be able to have a healthy appreciation for

Remember that kinks are extremely common. Most people have had sex fantasies before, so stop feeling weird about having those thoughts. However, an unhealthy relationship could also be your downfall. Try to "responsibly" handle your kinks, seek consent from your partner, and seek a professional when things start to get out of hand.

Can you get STD from old toy?

First off, if you think you might have contracted an STD, you should immediately seek a professional as an article on the internet cannot cure you.

Sex toys can be a source of bacteria and viruses that can cause infections, both bacterial and viral. But this is not a reason to stay away from adult toys and accessories. However, you need to learn how to protect yourself and maintain your sexual health. If you don't want to get STDs from sex toys, it's essential that you know how to maintain your sex toys.

Should sex toys be cleaned after every use?

Yes, of course. But you'd think cleaning sex toys with soap and water would be good enough. Please don’t do that. It’s best to first figure out what type of material the toy is made of before starting to clean them. You can divide most sex toys into two broad categories: porous materials and non-porous materials.

Check the box or look it up online to see what kind of material your toy is made of. When it comes to cleaning porous sex toys, you should know right off the bat that while it's possible to clean them, even if you can, it might not be enough to eliminate all the germs you might want to be eliminating.

You should think about cleaning your toy before you use it, even if you are careful about cleaning your toy every time you use it. There is a chance that it could have come into contact with dirt, lint, dust, and other materials. We're pretty sure that you don't want to expose yourself to those elements, so you should wash your toy. You are able to skip this step, if you so desire. Cleaning toys before every use is a suggestion, whereas cleaning them after every use is a necessity (especially after roleplaying).

How do you take care of sex toys?

Sex toys are fun, whether you’re having fun with them, or they’re having fun on you. It's a lot of fun to play with those toys, but it's just as important to take proper care of them. These babies have great things to offer, which is why it’s important that they stay in good shape so you can use them again and again (and again).

Start with a Quality Product

When it comes to your sex life, and stuff that will be going in, out, or around your organs, it's really not a good time to be frugal. Toys of high quality could last for years, says Sex Toy Experts.

If you buy an extremely cheap toy from a no-reputation retailer, you may find they give away very quickly. That's not to say that all your gadgets will cost you a fortune. It's frightening to have a dildo break whilst in your hole. Cheaper toys could also give out a plethora of health problems, as cheaper materials interacting with your sensitive organs poses an extreme risk.

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Make a habit in cleaning them

When it comes to the care of your sex toys, you always want to be safe. Bacteria can grow if they aren't properly cleaned and dried. If the manufacturer's instructions says otherwise, make sure to clean them before and after each use with gentle antibacterial soap and water.

Using the right lube

Lube is normally recommended for using different types of sex toys, knowing which ones to use is key. Example, a silicone lubricant is great, and latex-friendly as well, but it reacts to the material of silicone toys and could melt them.

Share responsibly

If you're going to use sex toys, you should never share them. But it could happen if you're using them with a partner. To prevent transmitting STDs, it is best to clean your used items carefully and share them only with your partner.

Make sure to always sterilize your toys before and after sharing them with someone else. This includes washing it in boiling water or washing it in the top rack of the dishwasher but be careful about how you handle the toy. These methods are only acceptable for toys that do not have any mechanical/electrical parts.

Know when to toss it

If you notice signs of wear and tear on the toy, it's time to throw it out. Lower quality toys can get too hot over time, toys made out of glass or wood can start chipping, and porous, soft plastic toys can tarnish over time.

If you see any of these signs, your toys have reached their end of life and it's time to replace them. You should always use your best judgment, and don't get too attached to a particular option. You can find another one that fits all your needs.

Is roleplay good for sex life?

Before tackling the main issue we will be talking about, we have to know whether what the hell we are doing is even good for our sex life. The answer is, technically yes.

Makes you more involved

When partners start to use their imagination to envision a fantasy situation, they are more involved and engaged in the sex session.

Increased time in foreplay

It is a good foreplay because instead of just taking your clothes off, you need to spend some time flirting, playing, manipulating, inventing dialogues and passes. You spend a lot of time creating sexual tension to succeed. This makes the arousal go up.

Originality

It is great that sex is not the same as your everyday sex. It is fresh, new and unusual. It is a adventure.

Unexpected outcomes

A roleplay session can give you a lot of things to take away. It can be scripted and rehearsed, but it can still go astray and land you in an unexpected place.

How do you roleplay without being awkward?

We've all been in the awkward position of trying to roleplay with a partner without them knowing what we're doing. We want to do cool poses, but they want to go back to their seat and read the menu. But there are ways around this awkwardness – at least if you know how to defeat awkwardness in roleplaying with a partner. Read on for the tips to do so.

Try clothes

Clothes help you get into character, so dressing up can help you get into the scenario and feel less self conscious, especially if you don't have much role play experience, says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist. Step into the role and bring it to life!If you're feeling nervous or embarrassed, feel free to acknowledge the discomfort and say you're feeling a little awkward or a little nervous but it's important to try to move past it and jump right into the task at hand, much like you would if you were nervous about giving a speech or presentation in front of an audience.

Setting the scene

It's a good idea to set up your scene in advance. You can create boundaries and avoid things going in a different direction if you do it this way.

Prepare

Get aroused before you slip into character. As arousal increases, your inhibitions will be heightened. Your brain circuitry will then be overloaded with activity.

Orgasm first

During orgasm, your brain becomes completely incapable of making sound decisions. It will be the equivalent of being drunk or stoned.

Turn off the lights

Do it with the lights off, or play the music at a fairly high volume. To be able to focus on what you're feeling in your body as opposed to your mind, you need to learn how to tune out the outside world for a few hours.

Get out of the house

Role playing in familiar surroundings feels very fake. It’s always a good idea to take a break from the usual places and see where your fantasy takes you.

Talk!

Dirty talking is a big part of role play. Ease yourself into the role by whispering the character's lines. The hushed tones, the background music and the lack of lighting make it feel like an intimate conversation

This week, I'm talking about role play and how to make it less awkward. This topic has come up quite a bit in my workshops and I know that it can be super awkward. I've seen people make it worse by trying to "make it work" with their partner. What's wrong with that?

You don't have to start out as a role play neophyte to enjoy role play. It doesn't matter if you are new to role playing or just starting out. Everyone can enjoy role play.

Toys

Be sure to bring toys into the equation too! Check out our article here on how to keep them in good condition.

How do you roleplay when you're shy?

There are a lot of people who want to play a role but don't know what to do. There are so many unanswered questions. Like, how would you even bring up fantasy to them in the first place? What are the things should I buy? If my partner judges me for wanting to be the cheese to his mouse or the princess trapped in a tower?

Chill out, everyone who is into role-playing started in the beginning somehow. Tell your partner what you want, and that means what you really really want. Decide what you want to do, figure out who's in charge and who has to follow instructions. You could stop there or take it a step further. Acting as strangers is an easy place to start as you can just be yourselves. Determine your next steps when you and your partner decide on a scene. Do you have costumes or props? Where do you want it to go?

There are many ways to have fun with your sex. We all have our own ideas of what sex should look like, and I want to encourage you to embrace trying new things. When we are in touch with our sex, we feel more alive, we feel more connected to our partners.