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Telling Your Partner Your Kink

September 18, 2022 5 min read

How do I tell my partner about my kink?

It might be difficult to share one's kink with a new partner or a partner in a committed relationship. What happens if your spouse doesn't find your kink appealing? And what if they criticize you? There are a plethora of issues to consider. The first stage in fulfilling your sexual demands is, however, communication, which entails vocalizing them. How do you even get started exploring your kink? To start, ask yourself if you feel at ease doing what makes you tick. If you're worried that your partner will criticize you for wanting to experiment with a role-playing scenario, such as a doctor/patient scene or a type of bondage, check in with yourself first.

If you're at comfortable with the knowledge that you want to be called dirty names in bed, you're more likely to express that desire in a calm and relaxed manner. If you're still battling inwardly, it might be beneficial to talk to a kink-competent and accepting therapist before discussing your kink with a partner. If you have internalized sexual guilt that is preventing you from having fun and feeling good about your kinks, it may be beneficial and necessary to work through your feelings and the beliefs you've internalized. Take a deep breath knowing (or potentially reminding yourself) that there is nothing wrong with you if your sexual urges involve exploring something with another consenting adult.

How do you bring it up?

Talking about the mainstream media is a great way to start a conversation. An article or movie may be a terrific opener, whether it's Fifty Shades of Grey, one of the many magazines featuring a sex and sexuality section, or something else entirely. Perhaps send them a link to this article about the benefits of BDSM and see what they think?

While some people prefer to talk about their sexual preferences before going to bed, arousal can be a useful tool. Dirty conversations are one of the simplest methods to reveal your kink to your partner. Let's imagine you really want to spank your partner. You might suggest telling them during a makeout session how much you like them and how much you want to spank them, and then asking if you can. By posing the question as a request, you are exercising consent while displaying your kink in a private context. Consent is also a crucial component of any sexual connection, no matter how kinky or conventional it may be. Although you are not required to discuss your kink over dinner or coffee, you are welcome to do so if it feels comfortable. You certainly don’t have to bring up your kink over dinner or coffee, but if that setting feels good to you, go for it! Always do what feels best for your relationship.

How do you ask your partner to tie you up?

Unbelievably, this is a question that is fairly common. It might be tough to disclose to your spouse that you even have this urge, which is perhaps the most challenging aspect of the issue. Let's imagine you want to tie up your partner without further ado. Fortunately, it's simpler than you would think. Simply said, you need to introduce it to them gradually rather than all at once. It's strange to arrive on a date with a lot of rope. And because of this, most women turn to make little jokes about it in the hopes that the male would fall for the ruse.

Start gradually

Tell him to start by holding your wrists down while you have sex. Inform him that you enjoy having someone to strive against and that it feels nice to sense his strength. Make sounds that will show him that it truly turned you on while you struggle a little (don't actually escape; you want it to be pleasurable for him too). Afterward, tell him how hot it was. Like all other creatures, men enjoy receiving praise. Then, if he appears to enjoy it as well (he will probably), construct the fantasy for him.

Build the fantasy

Make it serious and not too frivolous. Although it feels like a trap to a guy, that is emotionally safer for you. He also doesn't want to acknowledge how he feels. He enjoys you. He wants that you perceive him as a gentleman. Tell him straight out that fantasizing about his tying you up gets you incredibly hot because then no matter how hard you tried, you would be powerless and he could do whatever he wanted to you while you were helpless. Tell him in such a manner that the thought of it hurts him.

Only discuss it at the right time

Tell him this in bed or another sexually charged situation since that is when his ANIMAL brain is active. It turns out that depending on our emotional state, our thoughts and judgments might fluctuate greatly. And the reason for that is that we are using entirely different parts of our brain. Because of this, you may fantasize about being tied up when you are turned on, but the next day, when you are not turned on, you can feel ashamed of your initial ideas.

Therefore, while it may be tempting to have this talk when you both feel grounded and sane, it just won't go over as well. Don't plan on asking him to hold your wrists down PRIOR to having sex; instead, do it DURING intense sex. The next weekend, he will appear with the necessary equipment and props.

Don't be a "dummy"

Please don't be a dunce about it and interpret what I'm saying to suggest that "physical constraint" is a good idea with the girl you just started dating. For the males reading along, the stuff I'm talking about is a powerful female fantasy. Here we are in FANTASY. To be clear, using force is never acceptable and can get you arrested in addition to being wrong.

When it comes to the emotional components of women experiencing degrees of pleasure that are, quite bluntly, frightening for them, there are concepts of "giving permission" and "taking responsibility" in the framework of a loving and trustworthy relationship. Instead of imposing anything, it is about EARNING sexual trust. And only sexual assurance, trust, and intimacy can achieve that.

Cuff yourself!

After all of the preliminary things are done, sometimes the best thing to do is; to do it! More is lost by indecision, rather than the wrong decision. Head on over to Cuffstore's premium quality handcuff collection, if you're in the market.

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