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7 Steps to Get Your Wife to Use Sex Toys

August 05, 2022 4 min read

How do I get my wife to use sex toys?

Firstly, if you want your husband to use sex toys, read on as this is not just for wives specifically. If you're really serious about wanting to introduce sex toys into your bedroom, then you need to know how to do it without it feeling awkward. There are some ways you can go about it without being too weird or pushing your partner away.

If you've ever had a desire to try something new in the bedroom but were nervous about it, then you've come to the right place. There's nothing to be afraid of when it comes to exploring your sexuality. In fact, the more you know about your body and what you like, the better you'll be able to please yourself and your partner.

Sex toys are a great way to spice up your sex life. Whether you're looking to spice things up with a new toy or you just want to explore the possibilities, read on!

Step 1: Buy a Sex Toy

Well duh, buy a sex toy first. It would be stupid to try to use sex toys without having one, no? You need to invest on quality toys, these aren't exactly the items to skimp out on this as you need high quality materials as these toys are going to be interacting with you and your partner's sensitive organs.

Step 2: Create a culture of open sex talk

Talk to each other about your desire to bring sex toys into your relationship. Ask each other if your sexual preferences and your partner’s make it easy to do so.

Talk about sex to help increase your understanding of what you like and to provide an opportunity for you to experience something new that you might enjoy in the bedroom. Conversation about sex will help you and your partner get used to discussing what sensations you enjoy and what additions you can make to your sex lives to make them better.

Step 3: Specifically talk about using a sex toy

Once you get comfortable talking about sex, it's time to start introducing your partner to the possibility of using sex toys. You're not allowed to just take a vibrator from beneath your bed in the middle of things, and you need to make sure you've got consent before doing so.

Whipping out a sex toy will put your partner in a position where they feel pressured into trying something that they don't want to try. Your partner needs to create a space where they can say no to anything.

Focus the conversation on the possibility of creating something great together. "I like using a vibrator on you or I'd like you to use a stroker on me as It would be hot"

Step 4: Get specific on what toy to try

There are seven or eight different types of vibrators alone, such as wand massagers, clitoral stimulators, and anal dilators. Dildos, strokers, nipple clamps, and floggers also qualify as sex toys. It's very possible that if you are not specific in your discussion, when you agree to use a sex toy, you may be envisioning a sword-shaped dildo while your partner is thinking about a vibrating cock ring.

It's important to be on the same page about what type of toy you’re trying together before you get started. To make that decision, take some time to walk around your local adult store and see what excites you.

Listen to your instinct. When it comes to love, listen to your gut feelings and observe your partner's body language. You'll know what turns them on and if you're on the right track! Visit a sex shop's online store (like Cuffstore) allows you to browse through the different sex toy categories.

Step 5: Play with the toy for a while

Now that you have your toy, get to know it for a while before bringing it to bed. How do you turn it on and off? How do you increase or decrease the intensity? How many vibration patterns are there? Which ones do I want to try? Check, double check, triple check, that you are able to answer these questions before you use them.

Step 6: Discuss the experience afterwards

It’s important for you and your partner to come together after sex and talk about the toy, reflect on what went well, and what may need some work or support.

Step 7: Keep going

When it comes to sex toys, it’s really all about what works for you. If you drop money on a toy and then don’t love it the first time, try it again. You could use it on your lower belly, or in a different setting, or on a different body part, or with a different kind of lubricant or arousal oil. Using it while you masturbate will help you to understand what feels good to you and, as a result, you’ll discover what works for you to enjoy sexual pleasure.

Bonus Step: Maintain your toys!

Got your wife/husband to finally agree? The next step is caring for your toy, read our article here on how to do so. It is as equally as important as the process of persuading someone to agree to use them.

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