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The Definition of S&M

August 05, 2022 3 min read

What does S&M stand for?

Sadism and masochism are abbreviated as S&M. Sadomasochism is a fetish where a person derives sexual pleasure from the infliction of pain on another, either by themselves or through others. S&M is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of activities in which participants engage in activities that may be pleasurable for one party but painful for another.

S&M is a subset of BDSM that focuses on S&M. It includes bondage, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Dominance and submission are part of the psychological play of S&M. There is nothing dirty, disrespectful, or depraved about S&M, or BDSM, but it does involve hurting your partner. However, don't go so far that your partner could go to an emergency room or might bandage him/herself up after sex.

BDSM is all about play, and like any other form of play, the fun is in playing and sharing the power with your own consent. There isn't a single size that fits all of the definition of BDSM. Restraining your hands with your husband's tie might be enough for you, while someone else might get flogged with a leather riding crop. And that's all right. It's possible to get kinky without leaving a mark or feeling a sting.

Related - Why Do You Have a Kink?

Why you should bother with S&M

When you think about it, we all need to try new things in order to grow as people. When I was younger, I never tried S&M. But now I find myself having a more adventurous sex life because I've explored this side of myself.

You can always be open to trying new things in the bedroom, and the same goes for your sex life. It's not always easy to be spontaneous and adventurous, but if you're having trouble finding ways to spice things up, you might want to consider consensual S&M play.

The science is out, and it's clear that S&M can improve the quality of sex for many.

How to get started

S&M is not only for people who like being dominated, humiliated, and whipped. S&M is a way of life, and there are many aspects to it besides the whips and flogging.

You can also lightly tease them with your teeth, or press a kiss onto their lips, but don't go for a big, lingering, full-mouth kiss, as that's not really what this is about. S&M is all about domination and control of the submissive.

As you explore a blindfold experience, you might try some of the more adventurous S&M activities, like tying one partner’s hands or feet, playing servant/master games, spanking, pinching, scratching, and asking permission to use whips or paddles.

After all this, accessorize! S&M wouldn't be S&M if you had no accessories like bondages, cuffs, and etcetera. Grab the appropriate things at our store!

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Guidelines for S&M

Consent is the most important thing with S&M. Anything can be fun and enjoyable if it's agreed to. It's possible that being called terrible names, spanked, and made to scrub the floor is exactly what your partner signed up for. If this is the case, the experience can turn into a lot of fun. After the play is over, you return to your usual roles and ways of treating one another.

You should always have a safe word to ensure consent, and if you feel like you’re being pressured into something, it’s okay to stop. It's good for every couple to have a code word, just in case something happens that makes them feel too uncomfortable. A "safe word" is a code that lets your partner know to stop what they’re doing. Look for an unusual word or phrase, as long as it's clear what you mean and it won't be confusing if you accidentally use it. Your "safe word" can help your partner during sex, and if you use it in a safe situation, it's not a violation of your agreement.

Explore what you don't know is there. Time and again, I see people discovering things they didn't know they would enjoy. Some people think you need to do things that feel terrible to be on your way to finding your inner truth, but the truth is you can go to any place you like to be and find new aspects of. Start with fantasies that you both really enjoy and then expand from there.

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